Rio Grand Platanitos Chili Lime Plantain Chips

[caption id="attachment_190" align="alignnone" width="225"] Look at the lecherous chili pepper on the bag. He's leering at the lime.[/caption]

So I decided to make bolognese. What's wrong with that you may ask. Plenty. It smelled good and it made me hungry.

In my hunger I managed to inhale a bag of plantain chips. Now I have to remember what they taste like. Were they good? Were they bad? Were they mediocre? I'm not really sure. I ate them that fast. I'm pretty sure they were not bad. I leaning more towards mediocre. I kept eating them. I didn't run around the living room yelling about how good they were. So they had have been mediocre.

What I do remember is the chili lime seasoning was distributed unevenly. One chip had all of the seasoning.

Like most lime flavored chip type foods, you really don't taste the lime. It's more of just a sour sensation. It assaults your tongue.  There may have been some chili flavor. The chili had no chance against the lime. Nothing had a chance against the lime. There was so much citric acid.

The rest of the chips were a bit stale and needed some salt. Wow, these must have been bad. I wonder why I ate the whole bag. It's not like there was nothing else to eat.

They do have a crazy short ingredient list. Plantain, (Palm Oil), Lemon, Citric Acid E3330 adn Spicy

I'm not entirely sure what adn Spicy is. Any ideas?

 

Utz Hot Cheese Curls

[caption id="attachment_141" align="alignnone" width="225"] Utz Hot Cheese Curls. Bob's Burgers may or may not be playing in the background.[/caption]

I love Utz, almost everything they do is pure junk food goodness. Even when they do something wrong, its edible. This is one of those times.

Basically these are a Flaming Hot Cheetos knockoff. A puffy cheese curl that is also supposed to be "hot". It's a one dimensional hotness like a young Mary Miles Minter. Maybe it is nuanced and worldly, we just will never know. It's never allowed to show it's true form. It's just hot. Because Utz is a Pennsylvania company and Pennsylvania isn't known for spicy food, the hotness isn't very hot. If you are spice intolerant you will find these well, hot.

It's not the heat or lack of heat that is the problem. It's the fact they taste like Funyuns. The predominate taste is onion powder. It's not bad, just not expected.

Oh Utz, this is as close as you get to being bad.